My feelings about my brother

I love my brother so much -- most of the time!

The right word to explain how I feel about my brother is bittersweet. I feel both happy and sad to have an autistic brother.

Sometimes it makes me feel happy, because I learn how to take care of a special needs child and what some people have to deal with. I think that because I have an autistic brother, it’s easier for me to deal with people who are different. Another good thing about Austin’s autism is that it means that I fight with him a lot less than I probably would if he weren’t autistic.

Sometimes I feel really mad, because it seems my brother is always messing things up for me. I feel so mad about my brother sometimes that I just wish he weren’t autistic. That’s why I’m creating this charity. That way, I can help other people and myself with their autistic brothers or sisters.

Sometimes it’s really tough for me to deal with Austin. He doesn’t listen to me, hurts me, embarrasses me in front of other people, ruins things that I’m working on, and just frustrates me. For example, last year we went to a July Fourth party at my dad’s friend’s house – and Austin jumped in the pool with all his clothes on! He laughed so hard! Everyone was staring at him.

Creating this charity is helping me learn even more about my brother and about autism. I feel glad about that.

I also feel kind of proud, because I know my brother better than anyone else does. I am so close to him. When it’s his birthday, I can get him something I know he will like, because I know him so well. My mom and my dad know a lot about my brother, but probably not as much as I do. So you can understand how I feel proud.